OK,

Now i am home, and don’t start work till next Monday, and am lazy, i thought i would write something to finish things off. something witty, clever and well written. but unfortunately the fourteenth word in this paragraph prevents me from doing that. so you get what your given you greedy people!

I have always wondered during my travels what the rest of the world thinks of us British. I just think that we drink too much, are loud and love thinking we are good at sports we are not actually good at and that we are infact important in the world. well, seems i was kind of right.

Yes, alcoholics we seem to be. We are very loud. We are rubbish at most sports, especially the ones we had a hand in inventing in the first place. We might think that as a little island tucked off the coast of Europe we have some kind of importance in the world. Well sorry to tell you people this but we are about as well known to the people of South America, especially Bolivia, than the great island of Guernsey...

www.thisisguernsey.com

...where it seems yesterday saw a 'dramatic sea rescue' in which, thank god, a French horse was saved from near death!

The whole thing about afternoon tea annoys me too. I am not really fussed about what i drink. Tea is Tea, and Coffee is Coffee. I have had some of the (supposed) best coffees in the world whilst in Brazil and Colombia, but they all taste like Nescafe to me!? is that right? and then whilst reading a travel magazine about visiting the uk it said this;

'then comes the famous five o clock tea, which is respected as the national institution'

Is it? an 'institution'!? Does the fact that its quite possible that i have never actually had my 'five o clock tea' at five o clock mean that all the Queens horses and all the Queens men will be banging down my door any minute to imprison me for treason!? does it!?

anyway, enough of the ramblings, back to the email....

i may have found the worst job in the world!

those of you who fret about your terrible 9-5's, spare a thought for those poor sods who sit in the lifts going between the THREE FLOORS of Rio airport doing the night shift.

"floor" he yawned at me.
"2nd Floor please” I reply in Spanish
"what? FLOOR!?" is my rough response
i duly give him two fingers

people may think that Spanish and Portuguese are similar languages, and that is perhaps due to the fact they speak both languages and get easily confused. Spanish and Portuguese ARE very different, but the annoying thing is they have the same kind of spitting throaty words that make it seem that they are the same, but its all just a clever Paul Daniels-esque illusion.

it was especially annoying when after arriving in Rio i needed the toilet. now that is possibly the worst situation one could be caught in as your mind isn’t exactly thinking about what is the right word to use, especially in a language you have never learned. I managed to go through the word for "toilet" in four different languages, but to no avail. in the end i just hopped up and down on the spot holding my groin hoping for god she wouldn’t call the security police...

.... Spanish

¿Dónde está el baño?

....Brazilian (Portugese)

Onde fica o sanitários?

.... German

Wo ist die Toilette?

.... French

Où sont les toilettes?

.... Czech

Kde je toaleta?

I hope that this list will help you all.

Here i have a list of what i think is good, bad and ugly from my travels

DENMARK - nicest travelling people (sorry Canada, you had led from the start but one of your fellow citizens let you down at the last hurdle, although they were from the French side, that still does not do enough to give you the gold medal)

ISRAEL - worst travellers. closely followed by the French. Loud, arrogant and unfriendly. The only country where i did not find a contradiction in their behaviour. I met one nice French person.

SALAR DE UYUNI - most amazing site, easily. Located at the south-western corner of Bolivia its simply amazing. Miles and miles of salt flats, the mountains, lagoons, geeeezers, pink Flamingos, everything. If you go though, a piece of advice. wrap up warm.

BOCK - best beer. Bolivia.

INCA COLA - best non/alcoholic drink. Peru.

CARACAS, VENEZUELA - worst city.

BOGOTÁ, COLOMBIA - most undeserved reputation

LIMA, PERU - most deserved reputation

LA PAZ, BOLIVIA - most diverse city

BRAZILIAN BUS DRIVER - most kindness

VENEZUELAN BORDER POLICE - bastards

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT - spending 16 hours in the 'party capital of the world'.... on an uncomfortable seat in Rio airport

I would just like to add that as writing this i am crossing the equator....

Current Speed - 872 kmh
Altitude - 10700m
Outside Temp - -40 degrees brrrr

BEST BAR - well i am bias as i practically lived there in my time in La Paz and somehow managed to swing myself half price food and drinks.....Oliver's Travels. Otherwise the award would go to this bar in BOGOTÁ which i forget the name of, which was on the top floor of an old hotel and had amazing views of the city.

BEST FOOD - this would have to be my last supper before i headed down the Amazon in Brazil. It consisted of meat, meat and some more meat. so much meat that you could shake a big stick at it with 10 hungry piranhas and they wouldn't be able top eat it all!



OK, well that’s about it until i start my next adventures..

keep in touch


Matt Hindley