Paridise Left....

Hola Chaps and Chapesses,


You can all stop worrying about me, i am now out of that 'hell hole' of a gorgeous beach on the coast of the Caribbean with amazing gorgeous weather and amazing gorgeous people.

After leaving my mini paradise at half 7 int morning (after spending half an hour jumping up and down on my backpack to get it shut) i hopped on a bus from Santa Fey where i was staying to head towards Puerto La Cruz where most the big busses leave for exotic locations throughout Venezuela.

When i eventually got on a bus heading the right direction (after being denied getting on two previous busses simply as i was British and queued and let women and children on before me, seriously, if the Titanic had sailed its maiden voyage from Venezuela they would all have been screwed!) the stupid thirteen year old girl in front of me and her twenty something year old boyfriend both whacked their seats back and seemed surprised when they heard yelps from me and the bloke next to me!

Now talking of this bloke next to me.... if someone turned to you during a long bus journey and said "do you mind if i take a piss in this empty crisp packet, its all i can find", what would be your first thoughts?

1) - yes sure. go ahead. its a long journey and when you need to go, well, you just have to take a leak...

2) - what the ****** hell you you think you doing you dirty little ***** !! Be am man and hold it until we get to a **** service station!! Jebus!

or

3) - umm...why not ask the bus driver to pull over to the side of the road for a momentito, as we are in the middle of nowhere there is no reason why he wouldn’t stop (you flaming gala -muttered under my breath)

SO, obviously i chose number one, i mean three. Why on earth would ANYONE want to piss in a crisp packet? why oh why oh why? I don’t really want to go into it in too much detail, but it was a normal sized crisp packet, and i haven’t tried or anything, but i would guess it wouldn’t hold much, especially if one was desperate enough to need to piss in a crisp packet anyway, did he not think of the excess? And then there is what to do with it after he had finished? Would he casually lean over me an toss it out of the window, or fold the top of the packet over, put it into his bag and dispense with the item at a later date!? Wierdo!

But anyway, five hours later i arrive in Cuidad Bolivar which seems on first sighting, kinda boring! Fair enough i got here at about 6ish, but the fact that i have come straight to the tinternet cafe shows there is not too much do do about here! Plus my new hostal is full of weird hippy types who are all twenty years older than me, mid life crisis types i’m guessing! So will prob find some grub and go back and do the travellers talk.

(If you have been travelling then you will know what travellers talk is. i have only been away for just over a week and a bit and i am already sick and tired of it! its the same pattern again and again when you meet people of saying where i have been where i am going, what was good, what was bad, what books i have read, do i speak Spanish "un poco" is the reply from everyone, except most people speak a dam site more than a little Spanish and often go gabbling on to locals about stuff i have no idea of! its nice to find out about other people and all, but i am tempted to just get cards printed, might be easier that way!)

Ok, so am off now. I might think up some lies for my travellers talk. Maybe i'll be an secret agent today, or a boy genius gone crazy and fled his Oxbridge dorm room, or maybe even (gulp) a journalist!!


chow

Mattio x