Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 05', wear sunscreen!
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be, it. Especially if your on the equator in 30 degree heat most the day and are stupid enough not to wear sun block or a well positioned hat!
I had a god awful flight to Caracas, Venezuela (look it up on a map) via Frankfurt where i was delayed for six hours whilst suffering from a cold, a rather attractive titanic sinking sized ulcer, and pains in my eyes, ears and for some reason that is beyond me my eyebrows. i arrived to heat that just did not justify my hoody jeans and rain coat. after the customary time getting ripped off by a taxi driver i settled into my hostel and just fell asleep.
I met two really nice Scandinavian people the next morning who i have been hanging around with ever since. one is a Swede who is one of those annoying good looking bastards tall, toned, tanned, blond hair, blue eyes etc.. i don’t know many people who would not fancy him, and the other is a real nice Danish girl who has been travelling around for a while. some mean evil cockney tosses have been teaching her some of their local lingo, so i have been putting up with 'apples and pears' and 'trouble and strife' for the past two days! oh the laughs...
Anywho, as for the country its great. i like talking Spanish to people, even if i am of the speaking standard of a two year old little kid. the whole thing of Venezuela having the most beauty queens in the world seems at the moment to be rather inflated, but then i am told that when i get out of the city towards some beaches that there i will find some muy bonita chicas! The only thing i have noticed is the tendency for every woman, no matter what shape or size she is to wear to tight clothes and a push up bra? The amount of flesh that is wobbling about under their chins makes them look a tad cheap at times.
And on that note we get to the hookers. In the UK, in my personal experience anyway, you can tell a hooker a mile off. they wear to tight clothes and a push up bra....ah, so you see the problem. Swedish boy (we have all forgotten each others names, but are too embarrassed to ask each other so i am English boy, Swedish guy is, Swedish guy, and Danish girl is, u get the idea...) was loving it though. he ran around doing his whole pretty boy thing, and stroking midgets hair. every man to themselves i guess!
now on to the strip search. on route to bar two pigs, sorry filth, i mean coppers with big 'i hate gringo' grins on their faces and nice shiny guns stopped me and Swedish boy for a drugs search. We were both clean as whistles but i had one of those belts with a zip in the back to put some emergency money. so they both ordered me to take the belt off literally at gun point (at this point i must apologise for the 'strip search' in the title, like a true Sun or Star headline, its a load of bollocks, but at least it conned you into reading this far...). Here it was that the stupid twazzock in his haste to get into the belt pulled it too hard, which lead to the stuck zipper. well, at least it still works as a belt, and i didn’t get shot. so canni complain too much.
anyway, am off for some grub. hope things are ok with you all and that some of you are still awake, but it is my first group email thing, so give me a break eh!
Matt
p.s. at present time (nearly 48 hours into my trip) the current mozzy bite count is EIGHT.
p.p.s to those of you who know of the delights of 'Chips Ahoy', DONT come to Venezuela. Here they are different and more like choco digestives with chocolate chips in. Bloody terrible, same packaging and everything, oh how i cried....so disappointed
chow
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